This past weekend I had my first date since I've started writing in this journal. It was with a guy I'd just met online. I hadn't wanted to meet right away, but he was pushy about it, so I agreed to have lunch with him. It was pretty lackluster. As it usually is when I barely know someone, I could barely keep eye contact, and I felt like he was staring at me the entire time. And I definitely didn't have any chemistry with him. It was a free meal, at least. But overall, my first date in months was pretty mediocre. At least I tried though. I had to start somewhere.
I actually even got online yesterday and told Will about it. We hung out last week--he came over. I went down on him...and it was kind of weird after. After he came, he kind of rolled over and put his arms around me. Sometimes he'll do that before we do anything, but not usually after. We kind of cuddled for a few minutes, then he put on his boxers, and we kept watching DVDs. That was pretty normal. But the whole snuggling after was a little odd. And when he left, I felt like he was going to hug me, but I kind of walked towards the door, and he backed off a bit.
However, he didn't seem weirded out when I told him about my date, so hopefully that other stuff doesn't mean anything. I know I've said this before, but again, I'm probably overanalyzing things because I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Oh yeah, but one other thing--Will asked what I was doing the next few weekends. Again, not sure why. He's starting a new job, so that'll be his only time off, maybe he wants to limit things to the weekend. Lately we've only been doing stuff during the week, since I make it known to him that I'm very busy on weekends. And I am. I have a pretty active social life, but I don't go out much during the week, so that's when Will and I have been hanging out.
But how bad is this...when I was on the date, I immediately thought the guy was much less attractive than Will...not to mention overweight, and Will is definitely not that. Sleeping with Will is kind of spoiling me...unfortunately for me and for any guy I'm trying to date, Will is slim and very attractive...so of course I feel like any guy I date has got to be just as or more attractive than Will.
Mike talked to me today...saying he wanted to watch more of a show I apparently got him hooked on the last time we hung out (which I also showed to Will the last time we hung out)...so wonder if I'll be seeing him anytime soon. At least he's a good kisser...Will and I haven't really been kissing lately...he's a great kisser, but it was just a bit awkward...so lately we've been skipping it. So maybe I will hang out with Mike....who knows.