Monday, March 1, 2010

Warren and Matt

So things didn't really work out with Warren. Because this stuff started right at the beginning of the holiday season, timing wasn't great. We tried. But at the end of the day, he just wasn't ready for a relationship, despite his initial declaration. He didn't talk to me for awhile, and eventually he admitted that he was afraid of being in a relationship. I told him that I understood...that if he ever found he did want one, that I was around. That we could keep seeing each other casually if he wanted, but I wasn't going to wait around for him either.

Lately he's been texting me or IMing me saying that he really misses me. Like, every time. Yet he doesn't make plans to hang out. We talked today, and he said he definitely wants to hang out soon. But he's so lousy at making plans that I'm not sure if it'll happen. He's very indecisive, and that gets old with me fast. And him being indecisive is one thing that makes him afraid of relationships, because his last one was way too dragged out, because he couldn't get up the courage to just make a decision and dump her when she cheated. Oh well.

And not to be a jerk, but well...the sex wasn't very good. We only did it a few times, and each time he came really quickly. Probably because we weren't doing it often enough. I wanted to do it every time we saw each other, but he didn't. Nice dick though, great size. He also wasn't the best kisser in the world. Not bad, but I've had better. Since things have ended, I've made out (but not fucked) with three other guys, and they were all great kissers, so I've kind of realized that I really missed that with Warren. I know I can try to train him, but well...seriously, he's 34, he should be trained already! I don't know if I can change that at that age.

So I have someone new to write about, Matt. I met Matt in January, when Warren was doing his "not talking" to me. We met via some mutual friends at a bar, and he added "Words with Friends" on my iPhone. He is, to put it mildly, ridiculously attractive. Tall, slender but not too skinny, blue eyes. Absolutely delicious, much more attractive than me. And he wants to play Scrabble with me? I'm in. We added each other on Facebook, etc. Seemed like a good guy, plus eye candy, though honestly, I figured he was too hot to be interested into being anything more than my friend. I'm not ugly, but I'm not super-hot either. He's a 10, and I'm more of a 7.

So the WWF app has a chat function too. Eventually he actually started hitting on me. I didn't realize he was into me when we met. I didn't know how serious he was. Well, he asked what I was doing a few weekends ago. I was actually already going out of town, which actually bummed me out because it seemed like he was going to ask me out! I figured we could start things up when I got home the next week, and I was actually really excited...seriously, he's very attractive, politically progressive, hilarious, dirty, and intelligent on top of all that. And he's hitting on me, why? I still can't figure it out for the life of me. He's also just a few months younger than me, so the right age as well.

While I was gone, he landed his dream job and moved halfway across the country.

It would be an understatement to say that I was seriously bummed out. Of course, I think I would have been even more bummed out had we been dating for a bit. And I also would have been bummed out had he not taken a job because of not wanting to leave me. So it was really a lose-lose for me. What can you do? He kind of stopped chatting with me on WWF, so I figured I missed out, but well, that's that.

Today he started flirting with me again. He called me a tease, and I said I wasn't teasing, I was willing...then he said I should have told him that before he'd moved. I responded back that I had flight benefits (I work for an airline), so it was no big deal for me to just jump on a plane, so he'd better watch his mouth, or I was going to fly out there and call him on it! I told him I could come out this weekend if he wanted. Then he responded that he hadn't even gotten furniture yet, but that I was more than welcome to come out when he did, and that he would violate me all over town. I asked him if he was serious, because I really would visit, since I do actually like the city he moved to. He said that he really was serious.

Yes, I realize that it would be nothing but sex. But holy shit, this guy is so attractive that it might just be worth it. I haven't gotten any action in two months thanks to Warren and his issues. And I'm not kidding, this guy was talking some serious filth. Like that I wouldn't be able to see the sights since I'd be tied up! And that he'd be violating me before we even got into the door. I do wonder if he'd really tie me up...because well, I'm into that, and only one guy has ever actually been into it too. I haven't had nearly enough kink in my sex life. And doing stuff in public places? Bring it on. Even if he's not really that kinky, let's face it, I haven't gotten laid lately, period. And I have no dating prospects other than Warren, which is a big question mark anyway. We might eventually work things out, but I really don't see the harm in getting my needs met in the meantime.

So I might fly halfway across the country just to get laid. I wonder, should things go well, if I'd visit him more than once. He probably won't stay single though, so probably not. He's really too attractive not to find a girlfriend quickly. I really hate adding people to my "list" if it's just meaningless sex, but for some reason, I really want this guy. He's just so great. Besides, should he ever return to this state, I want him to know he has someone who likes him here. It would be awesome if eventually we ended up dating (and I'd probably move for him, assuming I could get a job), but I'm really going to try to be realistic about it and appreciate it for what it is, hot sex with a hot guy.

And hey, then I'll have more stuff to write about in here, right? Heh.

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