Monday, December 1, 2008

Updates on Will, Mike, and Liam.

So I've hung out with Will twice and Mike once since I last wrote. Mike actually gave me a day's notice, so I hung out with him last week. We still have a lot of fun hanging out, yet I still don't want to sleep with him. I think it would be horrible--possibly the quickest fuck ever. We kiss for like, a few minutes, and he's completely ready to go...for like, two minutes. Thankfully, we always seem to hang out when I'm on my period. We were kissing, and I made a comment, "I'm not taking my pants off." He replies that he's taking his off, and the next thing I know, he's already gotten off. (Okay, maybe his dick isn't as small as I remember, but I still don't want it inside me.) Really? He's 26. He should be able to last long than that. And then of course he's immediately out the door. I don't even know why he tries to hang out with me. But damn, we actually have interests in common, and he's fun to hang out with otherwise. And gorgeous. Too bad he has nothing to offer me in the bedroom. And he doesn't even try to get me there. This is what I get for hanging out with guys who are much less experienced than me.

Went to Will's the week before. We hung out, watched some DVDs, had sex...nothing too interesting, but nothing bad either. I didn't get off that time, and he seemed genuinely disappointed. Not upset or anything, but I'm kind of flattered that he seems to really care. But you know, I guess he should, since sex is all we really have now! It was kind of nice hanging out with him too right after my birthday, since I hadn't gotten any other male action since him.

We hung out last night as well--he came over again! Second appearance at my apartment. We looked at costumes online...part of me knows that this just makes it all the more obvious that he's not really into me, just what I'm dressed up as, but the other part of me enjoys that he actually feels like he can share that with me, since I doubt he's been able to share that with anyone else. I still can't believe he didn't share more of this with me when we were actually dating, since it's obviously something he's really into. I just hate the idea of someone repressing something that obviously turns them on a lot for that long.

Afterwards, we did it, and he suggested I use the vibrator. Just a few minutes in (Hey, it'd been over a week, since I was raggin' it the week before!), I could tell he was getting close, and I was too, though he got there about ten seconds before I did. However, he kind of kept going anyway until I got off...I didn't even realize it until he told me afterwards. He even said that afterwards he's usually really sensitive, and that he was surprised he was able to keep going for a bit longer, but I'm really glad he did. Ha! With our weird non-romantic situation, I almost wanted to high-five him for the good sex. And he seemed really excited that I got off, which again, I appreciated. So many guys don't even give a shit if the girl gets off (uhm, scroll up, let's read about Mike again!), but I swear he doesn't enjoy it as much afterward if I don't get off. I actually think a lot more of him now that I know that about him.

Since it was pretty late and a work night for both of us, he left pretty soon afterward. But we had another hug. And it was a little longer than the last one and definitely nicer. I don't know what's really up with that. I don't think he's getting any kind of romantic feelings still, but maybe it's just that we're kind of getting more comfortable with each other? I mean, at first the kissing was just so weird, and honestly, I figured we'd drop that, but we still start with kissing. I think it's crucial for uhm...getting him warmed up. And it's definitely not like...passionate or anything, but at least it's gotten less awkward. I don't know if it'll ever get to passionate...probably not since there's no romance.

I'm probably overthinking it, but since I'm not really dissecting this in detail with anyone (I still haven't told anyone but Ed, but we don't talk as much lately since he has a girlfriend), it's kind of hard not to. But I'd still say so far so good.

Oh, and Liam emailed me. He's coming back to the country, but he's not visiting me on the way home. I'm not exactly crying about it. He invited me to visit him sometime in the winter and mentioned that although it would be cold, it would only be cold outside...seriously, is that a flirt? Is it even possible that he wasn't just as annoyed with me as I was with him? I really don't see how my feelings couldn't have been obvious, even though of course I didn't want to pick a fight.

Part of me wants to see if anything is still there. I mean, that sex we had when he first arrived back here was great, passionate, and romantic as hell. But part of me is still so angry with him for the way the visit turned out. Part of me wants to take the easy way out and just keep fucking Will. But I think that first and foremost, I'll see how persistent Liam is. So far, I have to admire Will's persistence. We talk online every few days, he's been straightforward...I definitely prefer that to mind games. I guess time will tell.

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